In my opinion I believe Porn can be blamed for a lot of pathologies and false ideas about sex: that women love anal; that we like to have our pussies spat upon and smacked; that men need to bone as if they’re literally filming a porn movie. But I believe one of the biggest myths it’s responsible for is that women expect a gentleman on the streets and a marathon runner in the sheets.

Believe it or not (I couldn’t), some guys don’t cum that easily. Shock! Maybe it’s from using condoms. Maybe it’s their medication. Maybe it’s too much masturbating and watching too much porn. Maybe their sperm has stage fright. Maybe their so emotionally unavailable that their dick can’t let its guard down. But for whatever reason, try as you both might, the jizz remains on lockdown, the orgasm elusive.

Back in my 20s(many years ago) I was dating a guy, I’m going to call him 5K – who had a severe case of delayed ejaculation or “rock cock” as its aptly called. No matter what I done I couldn’t seem to give him an orgasm. No matter how long I blew him, screwed him, or jerked him off. It didn’t matter, he could only achieve orgasm about one out of every ten sessions. Very frustrating.

He assured me it wasn’t for lack of desire, and so, we decided to bang our way through whatever the block was, which led to marathon sex sessions. But after 50 mins in- after doggy style; the lazy boy ( on the side, one leg thrown over his leg) ; bridge pose; and even slow intimate (read: creepy), missionary- I was dry, bored and hungry.

Him?

Still hard.

Most women would kill for this kind of lover, right? I started thinking what was wrong with me? Isn’t that why Viagra was a billion dollar industry? (Nope. It’s because old men can’t get it up.) It did get me thinking, though: how long is too long? ( the duration of sex, naturally, not dick size)

For my own unscientific study, a few months ago, (before summer)I put out a call on social media asking the ladies, “Not including foreplay, how long is too long for the duration of sex?”

One woman replied immediately and said “Any man who says ‘I’m gonna rock your world all night baby’ hasn’t had that much sex.

Over all there seemed to be a vast difference in the desired amount of time one has for sex depending on if the respondent was single or married. This was interesting! Two single women said their ideal trip to Pound Town was “three hours” but I feel like only people having sex occasionally would say that, because no one who’s having sex on the reg has time for daily three hour sexcapades. Do they?

That said, there did seem to be some unity among the women I surveyed (about 30 of them) some of my favorite replies:

“If I’m having sex longer than 35 minutes, I’m over it. And if I don’t cum in the first 5 minutes, I’m definitely over it.”

“The pleasing me part starts first. There’s no time duration for that. The intercourse part after should be under 10 minutes. I could be in and out from beginning to end in 11-15 minutes I’d say….. with 8 of those minutes solely focused on me.”

“I start thinking about tax returns at minute 12. Money keeps me enthusiastic.”

“Straight pounding? 23 minutes.”

“Anything more than 35 minutes starts to reach the ‘hurry the fuck up’ point for me”

“Five and half minutes of actual sex. Iv already long orgasmed by then, even 20 minutes would be too long, I’m tired and bored”

Most of the men who replied said something along the lines of “Please say three minutes! Please say three minutes! Please say three minutes!”

This struck me as brutally honest. In my experience, a majority of men exert a great amount of energy during coitus trying not to cum to quickly and trying to please her. And don’t get me wrong, on a scale of sexual conditions a man can experience, I’ll take rock cock over premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. But 5k’s inability to climax fucked with my head more than I though it would. I had no idea how much of my sexual self-worth and identity was invested in my ability to readily and quickly make a man cum. It was an interesting time.

It shook the very foundation of my entire delusion that I was some kind of otherworldly sex goddess, and as a result, I started feeling uninspired to have sex because I felt like I had failed. No matter how much he reassured me it was nothing to do with what I was doing or not doing as the case may be. I realize that sex shouldn’t be goal-oriented, but it bothered me on a level far deeper than my brain or feelings. This was some gut-level frustration that was hard to shake. It really was something that struggled with. Turns out men aren’t the only ones who get insecure about leaving their partner sexually frustrated. Fancy that.

The moral of the story: We all think we want to have sex for the average length of a porn scene, but in reality, the average man is lucky to last 6-7 minutes and most women seem to be content to finish somewhere between 10-25 minutes of knockin’ boots. Happy Days!

Trust me the giant caveat been that you can really only get away with a five minute roll-in-the-hay if you take care of her first during foreplay. If not, you’re what we ladies refer to as a “lazy one pump chump.”

For me I’ll all for a robust sex sesh. The foreplay can last for as long as we’ve got but after around minute 22 of intercourse, i start thinking about what I want to eat for dinner (or breakfast- I’m one of those freaks who loves morning sex)

Take note, the jury might be hung in regards to how long is too long, but it’s case closed on how short is too short. And it’s when you climax before she does.

There are so many coffee places to have a cup of coffee in Navan. But who really is making a good coffee?

I wrote a blog a while back about coffee and the top 5 coffee places in Navan. My opinion has changed. ( you can read it here )

The brand of coffee is important, and everyone likes different brands. So opinions change. But what it really comes down to is the barista. And as I’v found in Navan no one is a trained barista. 😞 The coffee in some of my favorite places change depending on who is making it. Which is quite frustrating. There is one place I know if I go at lunch time any day the same lady is making it and she is very serious about her job, her presentation and her COFFEE. I have no problem telling you that its Margaret from Ryan’s Bar on Trim Gate Street.

Ryan’s bar has everything to offer, scones from 10am, lunch daily from 12pm-4pm and an evening menu on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. They are the best sports bar in Navan and as I said in a previous blog it’s so nice to see the owners working there and been apart of the team. Just when you think Ryan’s couldn’t possibly do any more for its customers they now serve Pizza in their beer garden every Saturday and Sunday. Local lads RBs pizza are rolling out the dough. I haven’t had one yet but looking at their social media the guys are doing a great job.

I digress, food will always get me excited. There are 2 other places in town that I pop into for coffee. Ode on Market Square is really good, the coffee is consistent. They use lavAzza coffee, which I like, plus I love to sit outside and watch the world go by. The other place I go to is The Central, the coffee is really good and the staff are friendly. I’m a regular there and it’s lovely to see one young lady recognize me and remember how I like my coffee. I love the front coffee area, and again you can sit and people watch from there. I love The Centrals branded takeaway cups and always get my coffee in one.

To finish up guys. This is my opinion and my personal taste. There are few places out there with staff that can’t use a coffee machine, they serve good quality coffee badly. Beware.

On a lovely afternoon in the Boyne Valley we headed to Slane Castle for Lunch. Brownes bar is new and I had heard raving reviews. 

Living a short distance from Slane I had never been to the Castle before. Which is a real shame.  As we drove up to the castle it looked amazing. Fabulous grounds and something  so magical about it. 


The entrance into Brownes is really special. Decorated with out door chairs and planters. A really nice walk to the front door. You could close your eyes and imagine been a princess The weather was so good we could have been anywhere. But the real beauty was that we weren’t just anywhere, we were in The Boyne Valley. 

We were lucky to get a table. It was very busy. We opted to sit inside, as nice as it was outside it was a tad cold . Menus dropped by a very polite young girl. 


Really nice information on the menu telling us the story about where the Bar got its name. I can confirm I was as relaxed as Ms Browne was. It was nice to sit there and try to imagine what it looked like back then. 

The menu was limited for me, as I don’t eat red meat or cheese. The only fish option was crab claws and I wasn’t in the mood for this. I did see other guests enjoying them and they looked delicious. But for me I went for a dessert and coffee. Doughnuts with strawberrys. Flavours were Jam and Salted Caramel. Absolutely delicious. So soft and fresh and just the right amount of filling. Coming back again for this and just might treat myself to a glass of prosecco. 


The only criticism I have and it’s not a major one, it seemed to be over staffed, with this leaving the service a bit sloppy, everyone seemed to be a bit like “busy fools” It was difficult to get anyones attention to get the bill. Saying that however it was a very relaxed afternoon and I can’t wait to return with friends. 

A short trip home to Mayo last week and on our way back to Navan  we stopped off at Cafe Rua for lunch. I have read so many great things about this place and I was really looking forward to trying it. 

They were full when we arrived, and we decided to wait for a table and check out the menu boards. The cafe itself is fun and very casual. Lots of different people enjoying from family to friends. 

Once a table became free, we were sat by a very friendly waitress. There was so many great options to choose from . 

I decided on the Free Range Egg and Tuna and potato salad. It was a great choice.  The basil Mayo was to die for. A great portion. Fresh and full of flavours. I ordered some of their home made lemonade also. Very refreshing. 



My mom had the Chicken Salad and my sister had the Mayo Mezze Board, both declared it was fabulous. 


It’s going to be a stop off for me on my journeys back in future. 

They open late on Friday evenings also. I’d say it’s a real cosy spot to sit in. 

Well done to all involved, great to see another successful place serving great local and Irish food. 

Scholars Hotel

“Most of us have fond memories of food from our childhood. Whether it was our mom’s homemade lasagna or a memorable chocolate birthday cake, food has a way of transporting us back to the past”. This is exactly what Scholars Hotel did for me. From the first moment I walked in until I left.

We decided to meet some friends for dinner. They live in Drogheda and love Scholars Hotel. Myself and my husband have never tried it and were looking forward to a night away.  The hotel is very much a Boutique Hotel. On site car park and lovely steps leading up to the main doors. Greeted at reception with a friendly smile, and a great buzz coming from the bar. Walked up one flight of stairs and was led to a hallway with dim lighting. Not the clinical hallways you get in some hotels. The room was small but very clean. Nice big shower. Quick change and it was time to meet our friends.

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As we arrived for dinner Mark McGowan greeted us and showed us to our table, where our friends where waiting on us. First thing I noticed was the quirky table napkins, so loved them, so want to steal the idea. wpid-20150308_190354.jpgThe obvious hand painted frescoes of the Battle of the Boyne takes you through history, this is a great idea, I love it, The McGowan family are very proud of their routes and so they should be, its clear from the design right through what follows on the plate.  The Restaurant has some fabulous mirrors and paintings. The feel here is of a “Historic One” of course, but they have managed to make the room romantic and I can clearly see it suiting young and old alike. A lovely glass of prosecco, compliments from Mark, was a very welcome starter. Our food was ordered. Some lovely fresh bread was presented and 2 lovely slices to suit my dietary requirements. wpid-20150308_191320.jpgThe bread was of course very fresh, its made in-house. There was butter on the table and some ( I think) aubergine paste. It’s so simple to do and i don’t know why other restaurants don’t serve bread to the table.

We got a lovely Amuse Bouche, Dunany crab with chilli and coriander, on granary crostini, cucumber gel,pickled cucumber. Just perfect to get our taste buds working and it did, it was perfect with the Prosecco, the flavors matched. Spot on.

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Next up was our starter, this was a new addition to the menu, and me been very bold and enjoying our evening I didn’t pay much attention to what it was. Thinking I could revert back later to the menu. What I remember was that the dish was my favourite from the whole evening. The potato was incredible. My pet hate with mussels is when they are served out of the shell, but I can’t complain about it this time, they were simply lovely. Would return for this dish.

wpid-20150308_200738.jpgA lovely Palate cleanser was next. Amazing coconut favors.wpid-20150308_203039.jpg  Just the right amount. We were really having a lovely evening. The service was not intrusive and extremely polite. The staff were very knowledgeable about the food and wine. The restaurant was nice and busy and we were having a great time. Scholars were ticking all the right boxes. Our main course were coming, I ordered Cod, I was curious as the dish had a lot of Indian elements, Roast Spiced Cod With Masala Puree, Prawn Bhaji, Yellow Pea Dhal, Pickled Carrot & Coconut Foam. The Dhal came on the side at my request as it had some butter, I did taste a little. Very different from my usual Indian Dhal, it would have accompanied the Cod dish perfectly. The cod was cooked just perfect, the Indian flavors worked really well with it. I think the dish was executed to a very high standard, I remember comparing it to Chapter One. The coconut foam was a very nice touch, simple but very elegant. The flavor of coconut wasn’t lost. I sometimes find that chefs concentrate on the main elements of their dish and sometimes the extras are left behind, but not here, the dish was completely flawless. wpid-20150308_204533.jpg

Next up was dessert. I don’t ever really have dessert, for a few reasons, one is,  been lactose intolerant, the other been offered a very boring fruit salad. The waiter came to check on us, and I did my usual sentence, ” I don’t think there is anything I can have” and to my pleasant surprise there were 3 desserts that I could choose from. But once I heard pernod homemade sorbet, I was sold, and OMG is was amazing.

20150308_221408Michael Hunter is the Head Chef here and has a great team working behind him. We met Matthias Ecker, who is a very energetic and focused young chef. The hotel recently was awarded Two AA Rosettes for Culinary Excellence. Well done to all involved. Looking forward to returning for some afternoon tea.