We definitely shouldn’t ever be congratulated for being sexual beings.
After a blog I wrote a few months back “How Long is too Long” a friend congratulated me about being proactive and openly talking about women’s sexual needs, which is rare for a woman apparently. I do really like a compliment like the next person but this really got me thinking.
Why does this add to a females character if they freely talk about sex and discuss what they enjoy? And why does this mean that I’m being proactive?
Talking openly about your sexual preferences shouldnt be a good thing, it should be normal. Congratulating women for this just leads to an assumption that they are making an effort, even changing their ways. Taking one for the team if you like.
In fairness congratulating women for this worsens the situation. Sex is natural and normal. Sexual pleasure is not a club owned by men where occasionally they let a confident woman in because she’s proactive about sex.
I get that people mean well and my friend was being very polite and wanted to encourage me and my blog. (Even if he did insult my extremely bad grammar). It does however sum up our society, where women feel like they have to have sex and a high sex drive is seen as an anomaly.
Rebecca Reid said ” There is a lingering perception that sex isn’t for women.” That its something done to us, almost in spite of us, rather than with us.
I believe sex is for everyone. It shouldn’t be an exclusive world where women are congratulated for talking about it or enjoying it.
“The case of the female orgasm” a book written by Elizabeth Lloyd is an interesting read. Statistics from over 33 comprehensive studies over the last 80 years showed that only 25% of women consistently have orgasms during sex and to add to this shocking fact only 20% seldom or ever have orgasms during sex at all. And as low as 5% of women never have an orgasm. Are you shocked?
Perhaps women get bored easily and need other stimulations to reach an orgasm. The study also shows that women in a relationship for more than a year got fed up.
Would it be fair to say that because of this fact, that women need more effort in the sexual act. Has this put both men and women off thinking that women deserve sexual pleasure? Do we just say that women just are not that into it and leave it there? It does seem easier than learning what we like. Wouldn’t it be better to put more effort in and wait a little longer for that sweet orgasm?
Maybe we should demand the above rather than be grateful when it does happen. I mean if women believed that this is their world too and felt that they were entitled to pleasure during sex, then they could congratulate men for being into sex so much to make them orgasm.
Are we not cutting ourselves short? The only true joy in sex is a shared connection, giving and receiving the most unbelievable plessure in the world.
Its extremely lazy to accept unsatisfactory sex, and it will make you very unhappy in the long run.
Its time to talk ladies and let’s start today. Masturbate first and learn what you like. Find out what parts of your body send you wild when touched and share these with your partner.
You have to be brave and communicate your feelings. This ends in orgasms and some self entitlement. We are after all, entitled to plessure in this life and if your not receiving it then its time you changed that.
Let’s share the world of sex harmoniously together.