How does that make you feel?
The phrase “How does that make you feel?” has become emblematic of psychological therapy, often caricatured in popular culture. Despite its overuse, the question’s intent is profound, aiming to explore the inner experiences of clients. However, a significant number of therapists and mental health professionals struggle to differentiate between “feelings” and “emotions,” terms frequently used interchangeably but representing distinct aspects of human experience.
Defining Emotions
Emotions are complex psychological states that involve three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response. Emotions are often automatic and arise in response to an external or internal stimulus. They can be intense and transient, like anger when someone cuts you off in traffic or joy upon receiving good news. Emotions are often universal, shared across different cultures and societies, reflecting basic human experiences such as fear, sadness, happiness, and surprise.
For instance, when you encounter a dangerous situation, the emotion of fear might arise. This emotion triggers a cascade of physiological changes: increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and heightened alertness, preparing your body for a fight-or-flight response. The behavioral response might involve avoiding the danger or confronting it. Emotions are deeply rooted in our evolutionary history, playing crucial roles in survival and social interaction.
Defining Feelings
Feelings, on the other hand, are the subjective interpretations of emotions. They are the conscious experience of emotional reactions. While emotions can be measured objectively through physiological and behavioral changes, feelings are internal and subjective, varying significantly from person to person. Feelings are influenced by personal experiences, beliefs, memories, and thoughts.
For example, two individuals might both experience the emotion of fear in response to a loud noise. However, their feelings about that emotion can differ dramatically based on their personal history. One might feel a sense of intense anxiety, recalling a past traumatic event associated with similar noises, while another might feel a momentary jolt of adrenaline but quickly return to a state of calm, having no negative associations with the noise.
The Interplay Between Emotions and Feelings
Understanding the interplay between emotions and feelings is crucial for effective therapeutic practice. Emotions often serve as the raw data, the initial reactions to stimuli. Feelings then provide the personal narrative, adding layers of meaning and context. This distinction can be particularly important in therapeutic settings where the goal is to help clients process and understand their experiences.
Consider a client who presents with persistent sadness. As a therapist, recognizing that the emotion (sadness) is different from the feeling (how the client personally experiences and interprets that sadness) can guide the therapeutic approach. The emotion of sadness might be a response to a recent loss, but the feelings surrounding that emotion could include guilt, helplessness, or a sense of hopelessness, each requiring different therapeutic interventions.
Common Challenges in Differentiating Emotions and Feelings
One of the challenges therapists face is that clients often have difficulty articulating their feelings and emotions. Cultural norms, personal upbringing, and individual psychological makeup can all contribute to a person’s ability to express their internal states. Some clients might suppress their emotions, leading to a disconnection from their feelings, while others might be overwhelmed by their emotions, finding it hard to sort through their feelings.
Therapists themselves might conflate emotions and feelings due to a lack of training or personal biases. The language used in psychological education and practice sometimes fails to draw clear distinctions, contributing to the confusion. Moreover, the therapeutic environment can pressure therapists to quickly identify and label experiences, sometimes at the expense of deeper exploration.
Practical Approaches to Differentiating Feelings and Emotions
To improve therapeutic outcomes, it is essential for therapists to refine their understanding and differentiation of feelings and emotions. Here are some practical approaches:
- Education and Training: Therapists should engage in continuous education that emphasizes the distinction between emotions and feelings. Workshops, seminars, and courses focused on emotional intelligence and affective neuroscience can enhance this understanding.
- Reflective Practice: Therapists should regularly engage in reflective practice, examining their own emotional experiences and feelings. This self-awareness can translate into a better ability to empathize with and understand clients.
- Active Listening: Active listening involves paying close attention to what clients are saying, both verbally and non-verbally. Therapists should listen for cues that differentiate between emotions (the raw data) and feelings (the personal narrative).
- Use of Language: Therapists should be mindful of the language they use. Asking questions like “What emotions are you experiencing right now?” versus “How do you feel about that?” can help clarify the distinction for clients.
- Emotion-Focused Therapy: Approaches such as Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) specifically aim to help clients become more aware of their emotions and feelings. This therapeutic model can be particularly effective in teaching clients to recognize and differentiate their internal states.
- Mindfulness Practices: Incorporating mindfulness practices can help both therapists and clients become more attuned to their emotional experiences. Mindfulness encourages a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment, aiding in the recognition and differentiation of emotions and feelings.
Conclusion
The distinction between feelings and emotions, while subtle, is crucial for effective therapeutic practice. Emotions are the immediate, automatic responses to stimuli, whereas feelings are the subjective interpretations of those emotions. By refining their understanding of these concepts, therapists can better support their clients in processing and making sense of their internal experiences. The seemingly clichéd question, “How does that make you feel?” thus becomes a doorway to deeper exploration, understanding, and healing.

Leave a comment